How I Accidentally Entered an Arranged Marriage with My Boss - Laetitia van Schalkwyk

It was almost two years ago — 1 July 2024, to be exact — that, at the age of 57, I started working as the Personal Assistant to the COO (Chief Operating Officer) of an accounting company.

Seriously, since starting my very first job in 1987, I had never been challenged the way this job challenged me. And trust me, I’ve had stressful jobs before. At one stage in my career, I worked as a Receptionist for General Practitioners for ten years, handling all the admin before patients could receive medical attention. That meant working with worried, stressed, emotional people every single day.

And remember — to every parent with a sick child, their child is the sickest child in the world and deserves attention first, above everyone else.

That kind of pressure and stress was intense… but this?

This was a completely different kind of stress.

So many new programs and apps and spreadsheets and systems and… and… and… honestly, too many to mention. And then, to top it all off, my direct boss was only 24 years old at the time.

Don’t get me wrong — she is absolutely brilliant — but oh boy, did we struggle in the beginning. Add a massive generational gap to the mix, and you can imagine the chaos.

At our company, we don’t date our colleagues… we marry them.

Our “marriage,” however, felt more like an arranged marriage. Because that is exactly what it was. She didn’t even choose me. She wasn’t even present during my interview. I was simply assigned as her Personal Assistant.

I am just grateful that both of us were too stubborn to give up on this marriage.

We bumped heads like two angry bulls.

In the meantime, she got promoted to CEO of the company… and once again, I just travelled along. I mean, when you finally work through things in a marriage, you don’t simply walk away from each other. You push through.

But here is the GOOD NEWS!

After one year and ten months, I can honestly say that I enjoy what I do. The work is still not easy or comfortable, but at least I no longer break out in a cold sweat or have a panic attack every time I have to learn something new.

Honestly, I believe she probably prayed for me to resign at some point. But remember — this is a marriage, and you NEVER EVER give up.

Just the other day, she reminded me of a moment when I told her it was impossible for me to do the payment schedule. I apparently said something like:

“I’m really sorry. I don’t want to let you down, but I also don’t want you getting into trouble because I’m not capable of doing this. It is far above my mental ability.”

I don’t even remember saying that!

Haha! Now we can only laugh about it.

The truth is, this is still not an easy position. But here is my humble advice to anyone finding themselves in the same situation:

First of all — don’t give up. Push through.

Second — never, ever, ever lose your sense of humour.

And then, when you start your day, tackle the thing you fear most first. That difficult task. The thing you keep avoiding. Do it first.

It changes your entire energy for the day, and suddenly everything else feels easy peasy.

And lastly — once again — never ever ever lose your sense of humour.

So… get your head in the game and stay focused.

Because sometimes the job that almost kills you in the beginning becomes the one that teaches you the most.

- Laetitia van Schalkwyk